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Tooth Fairy Failures: Confessions Of Bad Mommy Moments

by Mamajil on February 5, 2013

When our children have lost their teeth we have always put the tooth in a baggie and slipped it into their pillow case and in the morning the baggie was gone and in its place was a dollar. We never pushed the tooth fairy deal too much as far as I was concerned they knew it was me…..of course if the tooth was still there because of my stellar tooth fairy memory loss I would just tell them they must not have been asleep before eight….the tooth fairy only leaves a dollar if you are asleep before 8pm. This would always guarantee me a early bed time without complaining, it was awesome!!!!

If you fast forward to the time when Millie, child number 5 started losing teeth…..I was tired and very forgetful so I would just try to pay her off in the morning. She would go bonkers and wouldn’t accept my money because I was not the tooth fairy…the more that I would insist that I was the tooth fairy the more crazy the conversation would get “Do you have wings and a tooth pouch?” she would ask and then she would answer her own question “NO YOU DON”T, so you are not the tooth fairy”……. I gave up who was I to steal the tooth fairy fantasy from a six year old….

When Sawyer, child number 7 started losing teeth or pulling his teeth prematurely just for a dollar and the tooth fairy would forget to show up for days (yes days) I found him on the phone trying to get the operator to give him the tooth fairies number, he wanted to file a complaint…..at this point my older kids took over the task for me, I obviously was showing signs of needing to retire from this night gig and needed pass it on to someone more reliable. I had proven myself unreliable!!

Well now Ruby, child number 9 is losing teeth the first tooth she lost I slipped her a dollar in the wee hours of the morning, I was determined to reinstate myself as a tooth fairy……tooth number 2 was lost and I forgot for a couple of days, but Millie totally saved me with an apology letter from the tooth fairy and a dollar……she wasn’t so sly because the next morning Ruby came to me and asked me if I knew that my very own daughter was the tooth fairy….I acted totally surprised….as in “tell me its not so….”

Well Ruby has had a loose tooth for weeks now….
She totally panicked every time I attempted to pull it because she was convinced I would pull the permanent tooth next to the loose tooth by mistake and then she would be a snaggle tooth woman for her entire life…her complete lack of trust in me in the tooth department was a bit sad! Finally yesterday while she was playing in the yard her tooth flew out of her mouth and was lost…..she wrote the tooth fairy a note and then went to bed by 7:15. I was so involved with catching up on Downton Abbey that I totally forgot!! This morning she was so insulted!!! She woke up and came to me she told me “momma the tooth fairy forgot to come I am going back to bed until she gets here, my eyes will be closed so you can sneak in and do your job” Instead I slipped a dollar into an envelope and wrote her name on the envelope…I had Sam take it to the spot where the tooth was lost and throw the envelope down in the general area. Once the covert mission was accomplished I sent her next door to her grandmothers on an errand knowing she would find the envelope on the way…..she came home so excited she had found a dollar in an envelope!! Here is the clincher….my brother in law was in town visiting and she is convinced that HE was the one that left her the dollar…it helps that he also took credit for all my hard sneaky work! UNBELIEVABLE!!!

Oh, well I once again have failed as the tooth fairy…. I am considering offering them a 20 dollar payout and be done with the whole business in advance…not sure Ruby is gonna let me get off that easy, instead I think I will just permanently retire and allow my older kids to handle this task, they enjoy it and they are very reliable!

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prasti February 8, 2013 at 7:09 AM

oh dear! this made me laugh. emma just started loosing teeth and we’ve shelled out a few bucks already. i think i almost forgot one time (already!), but thankfully my husband reminded me. i personally like the pay out option.

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